According to a report issued by the National Alliance for Caregivers and AARP, approximately 40 million Americans provide unpaid care to another adult. What is more, providing adequate care to a spouse or partner requires, on average, over 44 hours per week. Sadly, caregivers often devote so much time and energy to caring for a loved one that they fail to take adequate care of themselves. This has become so common that there is a term for it, “caregiver burnout.”
Caregiver burnout has been defined as a state of physical, emotional and mental exhaustion that may be accompanied by a change in attitude—from positive and caring to negative and unconcerned. Many caregivers even feel guilty if they spend time on themselves rather than on caring for their elderly or ill loved one.
If you are serving as the caregiver in your family, you need to understand the difficulty of what you are undertaking and recognize the signs that you may be trying to do too much. Are you approaching burnout? Ask yourself the following questions:
- Are you exhausted even after a full night’s sleep?
- Do you seem to catch an unusually large number of colds?
- Do you feel like your whole life revolves around caregiving but you don’t get any satisfaction from it?
- Are you always tense or feel like you’ve lost the ability to simply relax?
- Are you increasingly impatient with the person in your care?
- Do you often feel helpless, sometimes even hopeless?
If your answer to some of these questions is yes, and you didn’t feel this way until you began serving as caregiver, you may indeed be approaching burnout. You need to begin the process of caring for yourself.
First, you must understand that what you are feeling is not unusual. Caregiver burnout is much more common than you might think. This should come as no surprise given the number of Americans serving as caregivers and the amount of time and energy required to provide adequate care.
Here are some steps you can take if you believe you might be suffering from caregiver burnout.
- Learn as much as you can about your loved one’s illness and how to care for it. The more you know, the more effective you’ll be and the better you’ll feel about your efforts.
- Recognize your limits. This involves taking a more realistic approach to how much time and effort you can give your loved one. Then, be sure to express those limits to doctors and other family members.
- Learn to accept how you feel about the responsibilities of being a caregiver. Anger, fear, resentment, guilt, helplessness, grief… all of these emotions and more are commonly experienced by caregivers.
- Talk to people about your feelings. Keeping your emotions bottled up doesn’t do you or the person you are caring for any good. Confiding in friends and family members can provide a sense of relief and help you overcome feelings of isolation.
This last step is extremely important. Remember—you are not alone. Support is available from people who understand what you are going through and can help you cope with the stress involved. You must do whatever it takes to avoid a sense of isolation. You’ll find support groups within the community online, in the phone book, through your physician, and from organizations associated with the health problem of the loved one under your care. Your local chapter of AARP, and agencies such as Family Caregiver Alliance, are good places to start.
